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Grant Me This

Grant Me This: Picking Winners as Simple as E Q R.

By Grant Boone, special contributor- PGA.com

April 16, 2008 -- First off, I want to give you a heads-up about a new audio feature here on PGA.com called "Teeing Off" hosted by noted PGA professional Michael Breed from Sunningdale Country Club in New York and yours truly. Each Sunday night, we'll recap the week in golf. That'll take about 45 seconds, after which the two of us will recite from memory every line from "Fletch" in character with accents. And no, this won't entail my dressing up like Little Bo Peep. So keep an eye out for "Teeing Off," coming to a PGA.com near you.

In other news, Trevor Immelman won the Masters Sunday and in so doing kept me a perfectly imperfect 0 and 72 in picking a winner for the season's first major championship. (I should've never waffled on Guldahl in '39.) Immelman's win also was the first by a player whose last name begins with I, wedging him in between Ben Hogan and Zach Johnson in Augusta National's Champions locker room and leaving only eight letters -- E, Q, R, T, U, V, X, and Y -- without a winner.

Here now are GMT's official predictions for who'll be the first to get those other letters into the Masters winner's circle:

E -- Ernie Els. Of course, I figured he'd be the next South African to win, too.

Q -- Tough call between Jeff Quinney and Brett Quigley. Mini-tour player Brian Quackenbush merits a mention, if only because his name sounds like he ought to be the president of Ducks Unlimited. The dark horse would be my old college roommate Joel Quile (pronounced "KEY-lay"), who's currently sporting a handicap of 18 (pronounced "eight-TEEN"). I'm not sure there's a shade dark enough to adequately describe Quile's horse, come to think of it, so let's go with Quinney.

R -- If bad weather ever shortens the tunamint to 18 holes, it's Justin Rose in a landslide.

T -- Let's go with local boy Vaughn Taylor, whose waistline makes fellow Augustan Charles Howell look like Charles Barkley.

U -- By default, I'll say the O-Man, Omar Uresti, who's bounced back and forth between the Nationwide and PGA Tours the last 15 years like he's made of flubber. It may have something to do with the fact that he's never emotionally dealt with the fact that he has the worst possible initials for a die-hard fan of the Texas Longhorns.

V -- This one's easy. It'll be fitness freak and noted heartthrob Camilo Villegas, who after being presented the Green Jacket will offer to let Augusta National members take turns riding on his back while he does one-handed push-ups on the front porch of Butler Cabin.

X -- Golf is woefully lacking in players whose last names begin with this letter, and from where I sit the sport's governing bodies have done nothing to address this blight. So for now, the best I can give you is the man they call Mr. X, Miller Barber. If he wins next year at 78, he'd break Jack Nicklaus' record as the oldest Masters champion by 32 years.

Y -- This will probably go to an Asian player, so let's try Yong-Eun Yang just to protect against the possibility that some of those languages say the first name last and vice-versa.

But 2008 proved to be the year of the I despite nearly all of them being on Tiger Woods the entire week, as if his daily deficits of four, seven, and six would be easily erased. It was actually Immelman who played -- with the exception of the 16th Sunday -- more like Woods than the world's best player, himself. Immelman made scrambling pars at the 9th and 11th, and his damage-control bogey at 12 was just as important.

Meanwhile, for the third straight Masters, Woods' putter wouldn't cooperate when he needed it to most. Down four with Immelman coming off that bogey at 12, Woods was unable to handle the par five 13th. And while it's easy to point the finger at the short miss for birdie, the trouble actually began on the tee. Needing a good drive around the corner to have a chance at an eagle that would've turned Augusta National on its ear and perhaps shaken Immelman, Woods instead blew his tee shot into the trees and had to pull off a twirling, pine straw pirouette just to get his ball back into the fairway. A three-putt bogey at 14, followed by more birdie misses at 15 and 16 gave Woods a second straight second and left him winless in majors when he trails going into the final round.

Adding Injury to Insult, Woods had his left knee scoped Tuesday and won't play the next four to six weeks in hopes of being ready for the season's final three majors. With his Grand Slam quest over as quickly as it began, the best Woods can hope for now is to leg out a Stand-Up Triple.

There's no I in team, Masters, or Brandt Snedeker. But Snedeker's eyes were full of tears in the press gatherings following a spirited attempt to win his first Masters as a professional. He still wound up with an impressive T3 alongside Stewart Cink. You might judge Snedeker's sobbing more harshly if he were one to boohoo weekly. But this reaction seemed more like what any of us would've done had we been under the glare of such a harsh spotlight for the first time and tried to hold the emotion in for four straight days, all the while knowing our lives would've changed forever but for a couple of shots here and there on the second nine Sunday.

Immelman's life may not change, but his plans for the next couple of days did for sure. From Augusta, he did the whole New York thing Monday and Tuesday: a photo shoot at the Empire State Building, $60 continental breakfasts, and a courtside seat at the Celtics-Knicks game where he equaled the point total (0) of New York forward Jared Jeffries despite 24 less minutes of playing time.

And, of course, there was the obligatory appearance on -- what else? -- Letterman. Time will tell if last week will prove to be the defining career moment for Trevor Immelman or a launching pad. Not to mention whether or not any of my aforementioned predictions for E, Q, R, T, U, V, X, and Y come true. But at least for this major this year, the Is have it.

Grant Boone is a husband, father, golf broadcaster, and sports journalist based in Abilene, Texas. An archive of his columns can be found here. He can be contacted at pgagrant@hotmail.com.

The views and opinions expressed here do not reflect those of PGA.com or The PGA of America.

 
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