Dramatic and exciting golf will always attract an audience, but contriving a playoff system will not. So says columnist Grant Boone who points out that if the FedExCup Playoffs aren't important enough for the world's best players to support, it's hard to convince the rest of the golf world.

By Grant Boone, Special to PGA.com

First off, on the heels of the scandal that brought down Republican potty senator Larry Craig - and is there anything more embarrassing than having something on your heels when you leave the men's room? - comes this. In a world exclusive, GMT has obtained yet another toilet transcript. Last Friday in Ms. Powell's kindergarten class, my daughter, A.C., bellowed from the bathroom bowels to anyone within earshot, "Could someone please bring me some toilet paper?" Like her father, she has no shame.

If only the PR mess Tim Finchem's in could be cleaned up with a visit from Mr. Whipple. Just when it appeared #1 and #2 had put the PGA Tour playoffs on a roll with an epic head-to-head, Phil Mickelson squeezed Finchem's Charmin in announcing he wouldn't play this week's BMW Championship in Chicago.

You have to admit, the FedEx Cup is, as promised, delivering drama.

Woods! Mickelson! Els! Who'll take this week off?!

Fortunately, the Tour has added "Excuses" to its handy stats tracker to help us keep up with the latest withdrawals.

Player: Tiger Woods
World Ranking: 1
Tournament Skipped: The Barclays
Excuse: Physical, mental fatigue
Translation: "Carrying an entire Tour is exhausting."

Player: Phil Mickelson
World Ranking: 2
Tournament Skipped: BMW Championship
Excuse: Balancing game, business affairs, family
Translation: "Inspired by the FedEx Cup's first prize being a $10 million annuity instead of instant cash, I'll go ahead and commit to this week's tournament after all. I just won't get there 'til I'm 59 ?."

Player: Ernie Els
World Ranking: 4
Tournament Skipped: Deutsche Bank Championship
Excuse: Going home to be with kids as they start school
Translation: "Someone has to make sure the kindergarten restrooms have toilet paper."

Last week, I offered a money-back guarantee if the playoffs generated the kind of excitement the Tour promised. The Deutsche Bank yielded a generous return of electricity, but it had little if anything to do with the FedEx Cup. If you don't agree, ask yourself this question:

At any point during Monday's final round, did you ever stop to wonder how Mickelson's two-shot victory over Woods, et al, would affect the FedEx Cup points race?

Of course, you didn't. No one did. It was great theater because the two best and most popular players in the world went at one another face-to-face for 54 of the 72 holes, including the last 18 with the tournament on the line. The fact that they don't exactly carpool to the course together only added to the intrigue.

We love it anytime those two go at it like they did Monday or the way they did at Doral in 2005 when Woods nipped Mickelson or the way we've heard they do at the ping pong table in the Ryder Cup team room. Give us Tiger and Phil anywhere, anytime, for anything, and we'll watch. Not because of what's at stake - with the possible exception of a major championship - but because we know what each of those guys wants more than anything is to beat the other.

The bigger implications of Mickelson's win and subsequent withdrawal from this week's BMW are significant. For Mickelson, it means a season that had been slipping away since his victory at The Players in May can be counted a success. Consider that after officially making the swing coach switch from Rick Smith to Butch Harmon, Mickelson finished T3-T3-1st, with the win being the one at the TPC Sawgrass. Then, he got hurt the week of Memorial and WD'd. He tried to play through the injury, missing the cut at both the U.S. and British Opens when he clearly hadn't recovered. Now, instead of his Players title being lost in a bummer of a summer, the win in Boston means he's back on Tiger's tail.

As important as he's been in tightening up Mickelson's swing, Harmon may prove to be more valuable in pulling back the curtain to let his new pupil's pupils see that the Wizard who is Tiger Woods is human after all. Mickelson said Harmon divulged some of Woods' on-course idiosyncrasies and that he chuckled to himself when he noticed them while playing with Woods the first two rounds. Not coincidentally, Mickelson tied Tiger in one round and beat him in the other two. It was just like the time Marcia told Jan to conquer her fear of public speaking by imagining her audience in their underwear. (Okay, maybe not just like that.)

Meanwhile, Finchem has been laid bare for what he is: a fine steward of professional golf's major league but not a true commissioner in the way we've come to think of that position in other sports. And that's not his fault, by the way. History, I suspect, will look favorably upon Finchem's tenure. But whether it's overhauling the schedule or establishing drug testing in 2008, as was announced last week, Tiger Woods is the Tour's de facto sheriff and Mickelson his deputy. Unlike NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, for example, who served as judge and jury in recently meting out harsh punishment for Michael Vick, Finchem wields only as much power as is afforded him by Woods first and Mickelson second.

That those two will have each skipped one of the first three playoff events proves it. Both players vocally pushed for a shorter season, so the Tour gave them the FedEx Cup, complete with four season-ending, $7 million tournaments. But in Woods' and Mickelson's respective and ever-burgeoning economies, the most precious commodity isn't cash but time. And they'll always reserve the right to spend it on their own terms.

Neither, to the credit of each, has made Finchem twist in the wind too much through the years, though Mickelson's comments after winning Monday made for a juicy subplot. Said he doesn't mind missing a playoff event because some of the things he'd asked to be included in the FedEx Cup weren't. Tuesday, Mickelson softened his stance, saying he wasn't trying to send a message with his absence but that it was merely part of his on-going attempt to balance his game, business, and family.

Except that he did send a message, and we read it loud and clear. Went something like this: "Why wait 'til next year to begin drug testing? I'll go now. Commissioner, if you'll just hold that FedEx Cup steady."

Grant Boone is a husband, father, golf broadcaster, and sports journalist based in Abilene, Texas. His column appears on PGA.com each Wednesday and every day during major championships and other big events. He can be contacted at pgagrant@hotmail.com.

The views and opinions expressed here do not reflect those of PGA.com or The PGA of America.