April 4 -- First off, if you missed John McCain's appearance on The Late Show with David Letterman Tuesday night, you can see it here. McCain has easily the best comedic timing of any presidential candidate since noted practical joker Aaron "Giggles" Burr, whose most famous gag was mortally wounding Alexander Hamilton in their epic duel of 1804. What a kidder! The great ones all have that element of surprise. (Hamilton got the last laugh by inventing the $10 bill and getting his picture, which looks a lot like my buddy Steve if he wore one of those powdery wigs, on the front.)

McCain's not a Whig, powdery or otherwise, but some of his best friends were. No, he's a Republican. In fact, McCain's single-handedly putting the Old back in the Grand Old Party. Then again, even J. Lo's twins look ancient compared to Barack Obama. And besides, McCain spent five years as a prisoner of war, refusing to give in to his North Vietnamese captors. Seeing as how I couldn't even say no to a fourth basket of Red Robin's bottomless fries last night, I think I'll take Brian Fantana's advice to Champ and stop talking for awhile, maybe sit the next couple of plays out.

Besides, it's time to hear from you! Yes, it's a Tradition Unlike Any Other, the week-before-the-Masters "Do You Think Tiger Could Tell You Where the Tour is Playing This Week Even If You Spotted Him the 'Shell' and the 'Open?'" edition of GMT-Mail. Mostly it's unlike any other in that "tradition" suggests that something has happened at least once before. Think of this as the inaugurally traditional GMT-Mail. Hands on buzzers, here we go.

Those that can, do. Those that can't, denigrate those that can in an effort to elevate themselves. You are poster boy for the latter group. You point out (in last week's column) that Tiger Woods has not shown any regret nor issued an apology for his comments. Before making such a statement a good journalist would first make the case that he did something that requires an apology. You failed to do this. And in fact no apology from Woods was required. When a bystander deliberately interferes with you performing your craft you are entitled to express anger. In this day that is likely to include expletives. No apology is necessary. The fault was with the photographer.

Suppose someone followed each photographer around the course and periodically bumped his elbow while he was trying to take a shot. Think you wouldn't hear a few expletives from the photographer? And the fault would be with the guy who bumped his arm.

Or in your own case, suppose you were, um, what if you were. Well forget that analogy. I can't think of a thing you do well that anyone might interfere with.

Len -- Michigan

How dare you accuse me of being a journalist!

Hi Grant,
An excellent article (click here) and one I will treasure. Tiger is to be treasured, he is not a freak. He is simply a great golfer and a great human being. May we glory in his passage through life, may he long swing a club, may he hit his balls straight and fair. May he rack up trophy upon trophy and show us mere mortals what is possible with focus and good parenting. A sorely needed role model in this day and age. Go Tiger Go! Thank you, Grant.

Richard -- New Zealand

Well said, Richard. The only thing I could add would be to echo the blessing offered by the great prophet, Fred G. Sanford: "May the muddy waters of the Mississippi run up your Taj and out your Mahal."

So sorry that you found that you might get a laugh from your comments (click here) about the killing of the hawk. I was disappointed at your defense of (Tripp Isenhour) and of the lighthearted way you brushed off this action.

HGM37 -- Cyberspace

Apology accepted.

Regarding your article (click here) on the "L" word: well done, Grant. Thank you for articulating what some may have felt but didn't have the guts to say. Golf is a game steeped in tradition. Some of them are good ones, some need to go away. I don't take comments like the "L" word lightly and I am glad that you have seen fit to shed light on this not so light subject.

A.J. -- California

Dear Mr. Boone: I am not a native Southerner. However, our company has done business with vendors in Georgia since 1982. I am constantly appalled by what I consider the "Civil War" mentality still being exhibited in the South. It seems to me that the war is still being fought. I am a 57 year Caucasian grandmother of two. One of my grandchildren is half African-American. I worry for his welfare daily. This little boy is absolutely a dear -- loved by his family and his teachers and peers alike. My greatest wish for my lifetime would be to see that all people of all races, creeds, religion are treated as the unique individuals they are; that they would be treated with the respect every human life deserves.

Sharon -- Kansas

Thanks, A.J. and Sharon, and that reminds me: Friday marks the 40th anniversary of the assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. in Memphis. Nonviolent resistance is a tough sell. Human nature says strike back when struck. King must've been superhuman.

DEAR FRIEND,

I AM MR. EDUMENDU ISMAL. I WORK IN THE FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT, BANK OF AFRICA (BOA) OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO.

I HAVE A BUSINESS WHICH WILL BE BENEFICIAL TO BOTH OF US. THE AMOUNT OF MONEY INVOLVED IS ($8.2 MILLION U.S. DOLLARS) WHICH I WANT TO TRANSFER FROM AN ABANDONED ACCOUNT TO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT, ALL TO MY FINANCIAL BENEFIT AND YOURS TOO ALSO 100% FREE RISK.

BEST REGARDS,

MR. EDUMENDU ISMAL

I appreciate the kind offer, Edumendu. And I love it when you do that Ouagadougou like you do. I've received many entreaties similar to this, but I can tell you're sincere by the way you type in all caps. If possible, I'd like to bring in my other business associate, Ms. Alice Benson, a widow whose late husband worked in the cocoa plants in Abidjan.

Grant me this: that you guys are ill served by having someone like Grant Boone represent PGA.com via his articles. Why not hire a real "man" to do the job, instead of this pathetic adolesent (sic) troll. He ain't nuttin' but a skidmark on the underpants of life.

Alex

That's Mr. Skidmark, to you, bub! In all seriousness, Alex, you make a fair point. Maybe GMT should be a little more dignified and professional. From now on, I'll try to incorporate more "superfluous quotation marks," mispellengs (sick), name calling, and references to soiled undergarments.

"The only downside of winning a Chinese tournament is that 10 minutes later you're hungry for another one." (Click here http://www.pga.com/2008/news/features/01/13/gmt_112907/index.html.)

Got to give you props for that one. Good stuff.

Adam -- Cyberspace

Thanks, Adam, but I can't take full credit for that line. I stole it from Burr.

Grant Boone is a husband, father, golf broadcaster, and sports journalist based in Abilene, Texas. An archive of his columns can be found here. He can be contacted at pgagrant@hotmail.com.

The views and opinions expressed here do not reflect those of PGA.com or The PGA of America.