21 go-to excuses for poor golf

Excuses
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As golfers everywhere -- no matter the level of ability -- can attest, bad shots are not our fault. Is there a better sport in which a player can make an excuse for something going wrong than in golf? Here are 21 great excuses.
By T.J. Auclair
PGA.com
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Series: Golf Buzz

Published: Wednesday, November 02, 2016 | 10:52 a.m.

As golfers everywhere -- no matter the level of ability -- can attest, bad shots are not our fault.

Is there a better sport in which a player can make an excuse for something going wrong than in golf?

Didn't think so.

Golf and excuses go together like carrots and peas.

With that, here is our list of 21 go-to excuses for poor golf. Maybe you've used some of them and maybe there are some you can add to your excuse-making arsenal, in which case, you're welcome!

21. After adding up a lousy 18-hole score: "You know, if it weren't for the double bogeys on 6, 9 and 15, I would have had a hell of a score today."

20. Bad tee shot after bad tee shot while renting clubs or borrowing a set from a friend: "These shafts are too whippy for me."

19. When you miss a putt inside of 2 feet: "Man, I thought you were going to give me that one. I was rattled when you didn't."

18. When playing poorly on a vacation or a business trip: "I'm not used to this type of grass."

17. When you whiff: "Practice swing!"

16. Poor shot when there's a group in front of you on the green on a par 5? "I took a little off that one so I wouldn't hit the group in front of us. Every time I do that I hit a hook."

15. "I recently switched golf balls. Always an adjustment."

14. "Right swing, wrong club."

13. Missed putt? Check the putter face, stick the putter out in front of your body to see if it's bent.

12. Missed putt inside of 5 feet? Immediately tap down an imaginary spike mark.

11. Bad shot from the middle of the fairway in perfect weather conditions? Try these...

- "The greenskeeper (two fairways over) couldn't turn off the damn mower for 20 seconds?!"
- "Figures. I hit the ball right down the pipe and it's sitting in a divot."
- "Do the birds only chirp when it's my turn?"

10. Terrible bunker shot? "These bunkers are like concrete" or "This sand is way too fluffy."

9. Terrible lag putt? Look at your caddie and say, "Yeah. Nice read."

8. Smash driver into the trees on the left or right side of the fairway?

- "Damn. The wind took that one." Meanwhile, precisely zero leaves are moving.
- "Who's the idiot that said trees are 90 percent air?"
- "Well, that's as good as I can hit it. Would have been perfect if that tree didn't get in the way."

7. Ball into the water? "Always happens when I use a 'good ball'"

6. Can't do anything right? "This is why I should never play right after a lesson."

5. Acting like your Tiger Woods (aka, infinitely better than you actually are): "One yard!"

4. Tee shot slices into the woods? "Interesting. I literally never hit it there. That's not my miss."

3. Shot that lands way short, or way over a green?

- "Well, this sprinklerhead is wrong!"
- "And that's why laser rangefinders are only 99.99% accurate right there."

2. Perfect lie, middle of the fairway and there's been rain recently, scream "MUD BALL!"

 

 

1. Shot doesn't go as planned from a tree root, but you still salvage a decent round? "A bone kinda popped out, joint went out of place, but I put it back in."

 

And, just for fun, here's video of one of our all-time favorite golf meltdowns: 

T.J. Auclair is a Senior Interactive Producer for PGA.com and has covered professional golf since 1998, traveling to over 60 major championships. You can follow him on Twitter, @tjauclair.