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The quaint Colliston Inn serves up fine food and good humor. (Photo: The Colliston Inn)
The quaint Colliston Inn serves up fine food and good humor. (Photo: The Colliston Inn)

Diary: Be careful how you order a scotch in Scotland

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While most scotch drinkers in America would get not so much as a raised eyebrow from a bartender at home if they ordered their drink with ice, in Scotland that might elicit a dressing down from a barkeep in Scotland.

By Mark Spoor, PGATOUR.com Coordinating Producer

CARNOUSTIE, Scotland -- If you're ever in this neck of the woods and are in search of a good meal and a few laughs, you could do a lot worse than the Colliston Inn.

Apparently, this place didn't get the memo about "location, location, location," as it's out in the middle of nowhere between Carnoustie and our house in Letham Grange, but what it lacks in location, it more than makes up for in atmosphere and quality of food.

The best way I can think to describe it is that it looks exactly like someplace called The Colliston Inn should look -- a weathered mixture of red and black brick, tall windows, pretty flower pots out front ... you get the idea.

Perhaps as good as the food was the quick-witted humor of the staff. Beau Estes, who is anchoring our video coverage of the Open Championship, asked our waitress what she thought of their cinnamon chicken dish.

"Different," she said without a hint of expression through her Lisa Loeb-esque glasses.

Showing more guts than some professional athletes, Estes ordered the meal anyhow and said it was tremendous, as was the beef and ale pie that I enjoyed.

After dinner, a couple guys at our table ordered scotch. Managing editor John Byrwa ordered it with ice and initiated the following conversation with the bartender, Grant Scott, who is also the proprietor:

Scott: Don't you know what scotch is made from?
Byrwa: Uh, you tell me.
Scott: Water, so you don't need any more of it.

That line will live for a while.

Speaking of food, as I looked out at the rain this morning, I decided to go into the media center cafeteria and grab some breakfast. I saw something called a "bap" on the menu and couldn't resist ordering it. Turns out, it's just a normal breakfast sandwich consisting of a round bun, a round egg omelette and either link sausage or bacon. I got mine with bacon. Quite tasty.

I think we need to start a movement in America to start calling our breakfast sandwiches Baps, if for nothing else because anything that has the same name as a punch from the old "Batman" episodes should sell like hotcakes.

Sometimes there are moments in life that are almost too funny for words.

Lucky for you, I said almost.

As you're sitting in the media center at Carnoustie, you look directly at this giant yellow scoreboard. The hook here, other that the slightly disturbing 1977 banana yellow tint to the board, is that it is filled and updated by hand.

You haven't heard the funny part yet -- the board is sponsored by Unisys, described on their Web site as, "a worldwide information technology consulting services and solutions company."

In this case, the solution involves three ladders and a font that makes you think you just got through watching the scramble board on "Soul Train."

The search for hooligans continues. Talk to you tomorrow.

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