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Top 10 excuses to not play golf

PGA of America
PGA of America

Series: Already Golf

Published: Wednesday, January 08, 2014 | 1:40 p.m.

No. 10: Rather than outdoors, active and healthy, I find life’s much more fulfilling when I’m an indoor couch potato…

No. 9: Although I could burn 1,300 calories playing 18 holes riding in a golf car, I would prefer to spend all of my athletic free time stuck inside by myself lifting weights, doing aerobic training or jogging on the same old treadmill for two lonely hours.  After all, who likes to use their free time doing social activities with friends or family?

No. 8: Although I could bring a family of four to play golf for well under $100, I would much prefer to blow through more than $400. That way, I can experience up close and personal the rude (and not-exactly-kid-friendly) fans who sit next to me in the stands, while cheering on my favorite team!

No. 7: I really would prefer to be a slave to my smartphone and respond to the beck and call of my (insert person; boss, significant other, nosy neighbor), rather than turn off this modern-day electronic “leash”…and enjoy the peace and tranquility of a golf course.

No. 6: Although golf may be helpful for professional networking and business development, I’m completely content with my personal income and have no interest in earning any more money or advancing my career.

No. 5: I spend enough time with my spouse or significant other, and I would prefer to do activities alone. And in general, I’d like to distance myself from my family in any possible way that I can. In fact, spending time with my family on the golf course actually sounds quite painful to me.

No. 4: This whole idea of enjoying scenic vistas overlooking oceans, creeks, mountains and rolling hills is rather unappealing.

No. 3: Unfortunately, I don’t have two hours to spare with my family, as all of life’s other pressures have made family time a luxury that I simply don’t have.

No. 2: I frankly find very little pleasure from hitting a good shot or playing a fun and competitive game with my friends on the golf course.

No. 1: I realize that there’s no better sport than golf to reveal a person’s character. That’s why I better hope my next job interview doesn’t happen on the links, because I know my hot temper on the greens will end up costing me some serious dough!

Now, stop making excuses…Go play golf!