A Quick Nine: Best golf-based movie quotes

By John Kim, Coordinating Producer
Published on


One of golf's enduring and endearing qualities is how it not only provides great entertainment, it's also a perfect setting for great stories.  Hollywood has used golf to make us laugh, make us cheer and at times, make us cry.  And when we asked the nearly 100,000 Facebook fans of to provide their favorite movie quote from a golf-based film, there was an overwhelming response. That said, for the large number of quotes provided, it seems that a certain few films have provided the most memorable lines. One in particular, starring a certain gopher.  Can you take a wild guess what that would be?
So without further ado, here are you "A Quick Nine" quotes from a golf-based movie.  (And yes, there were about 20 more GREAT quotes that could have made the list.  Alas, it's "A Quick Nine," not "a long 29." These were the most cited quotes given. Obviously, films with a comedic tint were more quoted than biopics or dramatic storylines. And yes, I know I'm leaving out some great classics.)
9.  "I don't think the heavy stuff is coming for a while" - Caddyshack (First submitted by Ryan Viveiros)
8.  "Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor, the accountant. Probably a great golfer - huge ass." - Happy Gilmore (First submitted by Jim Wingate)
7.  "There's a perfect shot out there tryin' to find each and every one of us... All we got to do is get ourselves out of its way, to let it choose us... Can't see that flag as some dragon you got to slay... You got to look with soft eyes... See the place where the tides and the seasons and the turnin' of the Earth, all come together... where everything that is, becomes one... You got to seek that place with your soul"  - Legend of Bagger Vance (first submitted by Robert Purvis Jr.)
6.  "Somebody's closer." - Happy Gilmore (first submitted by Chris Wolford)
5.  "Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them" - Tin Cup. (First submitted by Eric Majewski)
4.  "Do you want a piece of me poppy." "No I want the whole thing." - Happy Gilmore (First submitted by Brandon Cravens)
3.  "We have a pool and a pond...the pond would be good for you" - Caddyshack (first submitted by David Medeiros)
2. "...on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice." CaddyShack. (first submitted by Chip Sleeper)
1. "Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac... It's in the hole! It's in the hole! It's in the hole" - Asst. greenskeeper Carl Spackler from...well, you know. (submitted by a whole lotta folks)