When it comes to celebrating the gala occasion in golf, well, we have a lot of green to work with. Let’s face it, clichés in golf are pretty much par for the course.
But that’s golf. One cliché at a time. A guy needs to decide just which ones he needs in his bag, but he has to be careful how to use each. He can’t just grip it and rip it. And he has to say them in the right spot. That takes experience.
He also doesn’t want to use too much cliché, or he might push it and end up in jail.
If a guy’s cliché goes OB, well, he was probably aiming that way. You can't expect a cliché to hit a house. What he needs to do is keep his head down and his vocabulary straight. Or maybe the wind got it.
But he doesn’t want to be quiet and lay up all day in the chatter, either. You know what they say about clichés: Never up, never heard.
Yes, it’s better to be wordy than good. Especially when you’re trying to talk the rest of the foursome into a Nassau or skins game, or maybe Bingo, Bango, Bongo.
After all, everyone knows, you drive for show, and talk for dough.
And he must have enough cliches for the entire tournament. After all, the clichés never really start until the back nine on Sunday.
The best golf cliché is one that can be delivered with good touch, and correctly reading the break in the conversation. That way, the speaker can say his cliché and then shout, "get in the ear!"
Or, if it comes in a little hot, he can hope it doesn’t get fly off and get lost in all the talk. He has to hope it sits.
Then again, if it is uttered too softly, he might growl to himself, “Say it!” And hope it gets legs. Because if it doesn’t, one of the others might ask, “Does your husband say clichés too?”
But sometimes, no matter what, the words just won’t hunt. Maybe they came from a bad lie, and he said them fat. A golfer then has to shake it off and go on to the next cliché. Because it’s just a game, and he’s probably out there just for exercise. At last it’s better than going to the zoo, where tigers might be on the prowl.
So all let’s take a few practice clichés on the range, and then head for the first tee. You’re up, say away.
Oh, good cliché, and this is the perfect day for it.
You da man.
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